


house ⌂ hunters: housemates edition

by aiyah



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Clown-to-Clown Communication, Fluff, House Hunting, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26300863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aiyah/pseuds/aiyah
Summary: NARRATOR(voiceover)These two might be our most indecisive house hunters yet.[alternatively: the House Hunters AU no one asked for.]
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 46
Kudos: 361





	house ⌂ hunters: housemates edition

**Author's Note:**

> i will neither confirm nor deny what just happened here.
> 
> written & unbeta'd at 4 am; all mistakes are mine

△▽△▽△▽△▽△▽△▽△▽△▽△

FADE IN.  
CUE PEPPY MUSIC  
EXT: RELATIVELY CLEAN NEIGHBORHOOD - DAYTIME

_CUT to a scene with SOKKA marveling at a marble bathtub. ZUKO is standing next to him, nodding._

SOKKA  
Oh, this looks rad!

_CUT to another scene with Sokka marveling at a different bathtub. Zuko is standing next to him, nodding._

SOKKA  
Oh, this looks cool too!

NARRATOR  
(voiceover)  
These two might be our most indecisive house hunters yet.

SOKKA  
Both of these look great, babe. I can’t choose between either of them.

ZUKO  
Me neither.

NARRATOR  
(sighs, voiceover)  
They might need to come to a compromise on how much compromise is enough. Sokka and Zuko are _roommates_ and _best friends_ who became close during their time in the Windy City. However, they’re trading in their metropolitan lifestyle in Chicago, Illinois for the more lackadaisical atmosphere offered in suburban Redding, California. Their biggest problem? Indecisiveness—and the fact that they can’t seem to take their eyes off of each other at any one moment. And did I mention that they are simply _roommates_? Will Sokka and Zuko be able to peel their corneas off of each other for even a second to finally seal the deal on their new home? Find out next on _House Hunters_.

 _CUT to the jangle of the theme music that_ House Hunters _is known for. And that one clip where there are houses randomly circled with the words “great space!” or “huge living room!” or “pool for the kids!” with gigantic swirly arrows everywhere. You know what I’m talking about._

_CUT to a scene over the Chicago skyline. CUT to another scene of people hanging out in the park._

_CUT to a scene inside an apartment. SOKKA and ZUKO are cooking in the kitchen. Sokka is making a French omelette with chives. Zuko is cutting up some zucchini. There are two dogs running around them. One is a gigantic Great Pyrenees, and the other is a formidable Tibetan Mastiff._

SOKKA  
I’m a self-made entrepreneur with my own small, home-grown startup. My company specializes in developing energy drinks made from sustainable sources, including various kinds of cacti and succulents. Personally, I come from a small town right outside of Juneau, Alaska, and I later came to Chicago for college and have never left since.

ZUKO  
And I am a professional firebreather and sword-swallower who dabbles in pyrotechnics and special effects for one of the world’s largest contemporary circus entertainment companies. I grew up in Beijing, China, but I have always wanted to come to the US. I later came here for college, majoring in finance, business analytics, and drama.

SOKKA  
We first met in college, funny enough. Zuko actually lived down the hall from me in my freshman year, and the first time we met was when my roommate accidentally set off the fire alarm while making popcorn and the entire dorm had to be evacuated. And while everyone was freaking out outside, I just saw this one dude sitting on the steps, doing his calculus homework.

ZUKO  
And then he came right up to me and said, “Are you working on that stupid assignment for Pakku’s calc class?” I had never met this person before in my entire life, but then he sat down next to me and actually completed the homework with me.

_Sokka and Zuko laugh. Zuko bats at Sokka’s arm. Sokka flicks Zuko on the forehead. Camera pauses as CAMERAMAN does not know what to do next._

SOKKA  
We’ve been roommates through the rest of college and after graduation, especially since Zuko has such a hectic schedule while traveling around the world for his shows, so I just hold down the fort back home. He’s literally my best friend and the one person I’d trust my life to. Besides my sister, of course.

_Zuko blushes furiously when Sokka wraps an arm around him._

(CUE MORE PEPPY MUSIC TO DROWN OUT THE AWKWARDNESS)

SOKKA  
So we’ve been living in Chicago ever since graduation in this penthouse apartment with our two dogs, Hawky and Druk.

ZUKO  
But Sokka here recently received an offer from another startup asking if he would like to relocate to California, actually.

SOKKA  
And I was wondering about the dog custody and everything, so I just straight-up asked if he wanted to move with me to California with me.

ZUKO  
I was actually thinking about taking a break from the entertainment industry to go into the business section. And interestingly enough, I was actually interviewing for business analyst positions at one of leading investment banking firms, and one of their offices is actually located on the West Coast as well.

SOKKA  
He said yes!

NARRATOR  
(confused)  
He said yes?

ZUKO  
I’ve always wanted to see the ocean.

SOKKA  
My eyes won’t be the only oceans you’ll see.

(CUE MORE PEPPY MUSIC?)

ZUKO  
So we’re working with a relatively modest budget.

SOKKA  
(laughs)  
Yeah, we’re pooling our expenses and everything together with an even split.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **$2 MILLION DOLLAR TOTAL BUDGET**_

SOKKA  
I really think that something modern and hip would be great, especially for my tech-oriented, Silicon Valley-esque lifestyle.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **WISHLIST: MODERN HOME**_

SOKKA  
And I really like to cook in my free time, so I’m hoping for a place with an open-concept kitchen.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **WISHLIST: SPACIOUS KITCHEN**_

SOKKA  
And I’m also thinking that a place with a huge backyard would be great for our two dogs. Isn’t that right, Hawky?

_The Tibetan Mastiff looks up at him with imploring eyes._

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **WISHLIST: BIG BACKYARD FOR DOGS**_

SOKKA  
But honestly, I’m happy with anything that makes my housemate happy.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **WISHLIST: HAPPY HOUSEMATE**_

ZUKO  
Honestly, I am really into the genre of modern minimalism right now.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **WISHLIST: MODERN MINIMALISM?**_

ZUKO  
And I truly think that a house can always do with a sense of honor and pride. At least, that’s what I grew up listening to from my father.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **WISHLIST: A SENSE OF HONOR?**_

SOKKA  
(a laugh)  
Has he told you about his collection of weaponry yet?

ZUKO  
(gasps)  
How could you!

_The Great Pyrenees jumps onto the couch in between Sokka and Zuko and nuzzles Zuko affectionately._

ZUKO  
Druk! Down!

NARRATOR  
(confused voiceover)  
Zuko’s passion for antique Japanese swords has resulted in an awe-inspiring collection that requires a substantial amount of storage space, although he would be hard-pressed to tell you about it.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **WISHLIST: SWORD STORAGE SPACE**_

ZUKO  
But, in the end, I want what’s best for both of us, so I fully support anything that my housemate wants.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **WISHLIST: HAPPY HOUSEMATE**_

SOKKA  
Our agent, Suki Feng, is actually a really great friend of ours. She’s actually based in Sacramento, so it all worked out perfectly when we asked for her help.

ZUKO  
Her girlfriend actually mentored me when I first started out in the industry.

_CUT to a clip of Zuko and Sokka eating with YUE and SUKI at some hip, trendy looking restaurant in an unspecified location._

_CUT back to the couch scene. Sokka is playing with Zuko’s hair. There is an obvious tension of “will they?/won’t they?” in the room._

SOKKA  
(chuckles)  
Her girlfriend was actually my first girlfriend. Small world, isn’t it?

_CUT to Sokka and Zuko sitting in their living room. They are staring at their 4K flatscreen TV. Onscreen, Suki is sitting at a desk, with stacks of papers and flyers piled high around her. She is circling something in a notebook, but we can’t see what it is because of the lag._

SUKI  
(smiling)  
So, I think we have a lot of good things to work with, and I’m really excited for you all to fly out next week to check out what I have in store for you!

_Quick FADE, then CUT to Sokka and Zuko driving around in a car. Zuko looks nervous, and he’s fidgeting with his braid. Sokka looks jovial as he makes a turn._

SOKKA  
You ready, babe?

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **DO NORMAL HOUSEMATES CALL EACH OTHER “BABE?”**_

ZUKO  
I’m just a little nervous.

SOKKA  
Aw, don’t be! I’m right here with you.

NARRATOR  
(voiceover, trying not to die at the sheer amount of platonic? affection in the car)  
Today, they’re meeting up with Suki in a quiet neighborhood right outside downtown Redding.

 _CUT to Sokka and Zuko pulling up to an opulent mansion. There is a literal fountain spraying literal water outside in front of the home. There is a semicircular balcony jutting out right above the front door that is begging for a reenactment of the “I’m flying!” scene à la_ Titanic _. A row of neatly trimmed hedges graces the rest of the front lawn._

SOKKA  
Oh, wow.

ZUKO  
Oh, wow indeed.

_The two of them walk up to the front steps. Suki is standing there, waiting for them._

SUKI  
Hey guys! It’s so nice to see you!

_The three of them hug it out._

SUKI  
So I know that you’re probably excited to come in! I picked this home because I think it has a nice balance of modern chic with minimalistic Gothic notes. The entire lot is 210 acres, so there’s plenty of space for Druk and Hawky to run around in.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **210 ACRES**_

ZUKO  
210 acres seems quite large.

SOKKA  
I could probably grow my own vineyard here.

_Zuko looks confused._

SOKKA  
I mean, after I get my business up and running in the new location.

ZUKO  
Perhaps I could construct a practice facility here as well.

SOKKA  
That could work, too.

SUKI  
You’re talking like an old married couple.

SOKKA  
But we aren’t?

_Zuko shrugs. Suki looks like she wants to scream. The three of them walk through the ginormous double doors into a massive foyer lined with marble tiles. The entire house looks like it was lifted straight from the childhood dream of a billionaire and built to life._

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **10753 SQ. FT.**_

SUKI  
So this home may be a little out of the budget range, but I thought that you would still enjoy looking at it.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **$4,500,000**_

ZUKO  
This seems very much out of our price range.

SOKKA  
Yeah, it does.

SUKI  
But think of all the possibilities offered in this space! Remember, This home is located in the center of a private estate, surrounded by lush forest and wilderness. The house itself has wonderful views of both Mt. Shasta and Mt. Lassen, and did I mention that there’s an elevator here as well?

ZUKO  
An elevator?

SOKKA  
An elevator! That’ll be perfect when Aang and Teo come to visit!

ZUKO  
Or when Toph decides that taking the stairs isn’t fun.

SUKI  
(ignores how Zuko and Sokka are projecting on the house)  
So on your left, you have an amazing dining room, perfect for entertaining parties of all sizes. There’s also a sizable living room on your right, with ample space to conduct mahjong tournaments over the holidays.

SOKKA  
(running a hand along the expensive-looking mantlepiece over the fireplace)  
Is this also marble?

SUKI  
I believe so.

NARRATOR  
(voiceover)  
The past homeowners clearly did not skimp when planning out this house. Makes you wonder why they would want to leave in the first place.

SUKI  
Up next we have the gourmet kitchen, with state-of-the-art appliances and three stovetops for your convenience.

SOKKA  
I’m really digging this open concept vibe.

ZUKO  
But don’t you think that three stovetops is a bit excessive?

SOKKA  
You’re right. I’m going to keep that in mind.

_Suki smiles placidly as she leads them up the grand staircase to the second floor. She ushers them into a huge room._

SUKI  
There are four bedrooms and six full baths in this home.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **4 BED / 6 BATH**_

ZUKO  
Okay, this is nice. I could see myself using one of these rooms to display my things.

SOKKA  
(nudges him)  
You mean your space swords?

ZUKO  
They’re swords forged out of meteoric material, Sokka.

SUKI  
Right-o. This way, now.

_The three of them walk through a dimly lit hallway to the next room._

SOKKA  
It’s kinda dark in here. I might want to spruce it up a bit.

ZUKO  
Yes, the lack of natural lighting is a bit puzzling.

SUKI  
The previous homeowners really wanted an emphasis on their passion for marble and other natural stone materials, I think.

NARRATOR  
(also confused voiceover)  
That makes sense?

_CUT to short of Suki taking them into the master bedroom. The room is huge—easily the size of a modest apartment in Chicago—with floor-to-ceiling windows and ample closet space._

SOKKA  
So there’s the natural light you were looking for, babe.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **BABE?**_

ZUKO  
I quite appreciate the windows. I think they add a nice touch to the natural aspects and elements of this home.

SOKKA  
Me too, actually. I could see us sitting out on the balcony, having breakfast together…

ZUKO  
No eggs?

SOKKA  
Well, eggs for me, but it’s okay. I’ll make enough sausage hash for you.

SUKI  
(trying not to seem impatient)  
We still have an entire other floor to look at, you lovebirds.

ZUKO  
(confused)  
I fail to see how we are birds?

_Suki all but drags Sokka and Zuko through the other rooms on the floor before they climb down two flights of stairs to the bottom floor. They are now standing in the room where the indoor pool is located. Zuko bends down to touch the water._

SUKI  
This house also sports other luxuries, including an indoor gym, movie theater, and wine cellar.

SOKKA  
The wine cellar would be great for my future vineyard.

ZUKO  
I feel as if the house itself is trying to compensate for something with all of these amenities.

(CUE MORE PEPPY MUSIC TO CONCEAL AWKWARD SILENCE)

SUKI  
(coughs)  
I can take you outside to take a look around at the backyard?

_CUT to the trio in the backyard—it’s not really a backyard, it’s more like a personal oasis. There’s another huge, ornate pool smack dab in the middle of it all._

ZUKO  
(looks overwhelmed)  
And this is the backyard?

SOKKA  
(slaps the impeccably manicured lawn)  
Look at how much space we have! Hawky and Druk can do so many zoomies on this bad boy!

SUKI  
So, what are your thoughts?

ZUKO  
I think that the house overall is very nice, but I also thought that all the amenities and features were a bit overwhelming for my minimalistic taste.

SOKKA  
I really liked the kitchen, but I’d have to agree with Zuko here—is there really a need for three stovetops?

ZUKO  
But I do enjoy the privacy aspect of it, and the fact that there’s that state-of-the-art security system as well. The house speaks to me on a metaphysical level.

SOKKA  
Is this about honor, babe?

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **THESE TWO ARE IDIOTS.**_

ZUKO  
I can tell how proud the previous homeowners were, and the fact that they were so dedicated to this house really shows the pride and honor that they have for their work.

SUKI  
(looks confused)  
And this means…?

SOKKA  
I think this means we’ll definitely keep this place in mind.

_The three of them walk back towards the menacing fountain at the front of the home._

SUKI  
Well, I’ll let you two talk it over before I take you to see the next house.

ZUKO  
Sounds great.

SOKKA  
See you later!

_Awkward CUT to commercial with requisite advertisements about home improvement, pain relief medication, and "The Discovery Family of Networks"._

_Awkward CUT back to_ House Hunters _. Sokka and Zuko are driving in the car again._

ZUKO  
I just thought the last house we saw was a bit too grandiose for me.

SOKKA  
I understand, babe. Honestly, it kinda freaked me out, too.

NARRATOR  
(voiceover)  
Today, Suki’s lined up the perfect, modern minimalistic house for Zuko. We're going to ignore the "babe" part.

_CUT to Sokka and Zuko pulling up to the front of a beautiful, contemporary house surrounded by what seem like miles and miles of trees. The location looks very similar to the first one, but the house itself seems smaller—cozy, even—when compared to the first house._

ZUKO  
(visibly relieved)  
I’m glad there isn’t a giant fountain out front.

SOKKA  
You got me there, all right.

_Sokka and Zuko walk up to the front of the house and knock on the door. The door opens, and Suki ushers them inside with a grin on her face._

SUKI  
Welcome home!

_Zuko and Sokka walk into the house. There are high, vaulted ceilings and wide, open spaces. Everything is painted in muted, light colors, and the tile is shiny and bright._

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **155 ACRES**_

ZUKO  
I think I’m in love with the ceilings.

SOKKA  
And I think I’m in love with—

_He catches himself. Zuko suddenly looks very interested in a spot right above the fireplace. Suki facepalms._

(CUE MORE MUSIC HERE? HELP?)

SOKKA  
(recovers)  
It looks quiet. Can a house look quiet?

SUKI  
Well, I chose this home because I remember Zuko talking about how much he loves modern with a minimalistic twist. Plus, there’s so much space outside as well.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **6758 SQ. FT.**_

ZUKO  
So it’s not as big as the last house we saw, correct?

SUKI  
Yup, but the price also reflects that.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **$1,250,000**_

SOKKA  
Wow, it definitely sounds like a great choice.

_Suki takes Sokka and Zuko into the kitchen. There are shiny, monochromatic fixtures everywhere, and Sokka touches the edges of the sink carefully._

SOKKA  
I’m afraid of getting anything dirty in this place.

ZUKO  
This is a phenomenal use of open-concept kitchens. I quite like the fact that you can just see outside and straight into our backyard.

SOKKA  
The view is actually pretty good. I think I can see Mt. Shasta from here.

SUKI  
I’m curious to know what you think about the kitchen.

SOKKA  
Well, there aren’t three stovetops, for starters.

ZUKO  
I’m quite pleased by the fact.

SOKKA  
The one thing I’m concerned about is just how sterile everything looks. It doesn’t really scream “HOME” to me, if that makes sense?

ZUKO  
Yes, I get what you’re saying. Although I really like the ceilings and just the feeling of elegance and space, it doesn’t give off the sense of a really home-like home, yes?

SUKI  
(nodding)  
I can see how the colors and the lighting might make it feel that way. Let’s go check out the rest of the house to see if you like it.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **3 BED / 5.5 BATH**_

_CUT to the three of them walking into the master bedroom before making their way to the master bathroom. The bathtub looks like it is sculpted out of pure marble. Sokka marvels at the tub while Zuko stands next to him._

SOKKA  
Oh, this looks rad!

ZUKO  
(nodding)  
The shape is extremely reminiscent of a nest, especially with the bands of color running along the sides.

SOKKA  
Oh, you’re right!

SUKI  
So, how’s the bathroom?

ZUKO  
I think the tub is extremely attractive and compelling. And I also like how there is so much natural light coming into the place. It truly gives an air of reverence and honor to the general ambience of the home.

SOKKA  
I just think the tub looks super dope, okay?

_Suki leads them to another room with high ceilings and a mirror wall._

SOKKA  
Babe, look at the mirror.

ZUKO  
I’m looking.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **CAN THEY NOT BE MORE OBLIVIOUS ABOUT EACH OTHER?**_

SOKKA  
What was this space used for?

SUKI  
I think that it was originally a private dance studio.

SOKKA  
We could definitely store your swords in here.

ZUKO  
Or I could practice my choreography here as well.

SOKKA  
You know I love it when you dance.

ZUKO  
And you know that I only have eyes for you when you’re there. At my performance, I mean.

(CUE A SWELL OF PEPPY MUSIC HERE? WHY IS IT SO AWKWARD?)

SUKI  
If you’re done making eyes at each other, we can go check out the arcade?

ZUKO  
We’re not making eyes at each other.

SOKKA  
There’s an arcade?! Where?

_CUT to Suki taking them downstairs into a room filled with all manner of arcade games, from pinball machines to claw games filled with stuffed animals._

SUKI  
The previous owner had a hobby of buying and restoring old arcade machines, and he kept them all here in this room.

SOKKA  
So do these, like, come with the house?

SUKI  
I’ll check again, but if I remember correctly, they do.

SOKKA  
(punches the air with his fist in glee)  
I CAN’T -bleep- BELIEVE IT!

_Unfortunately, the laws on censoring excited cussing are still in effect._

_CUT to Sokka walking over to a machine and turns it on. All the lights start flashing, but before he can reach for the controls, Suki bats his hands away._

SUKI  
As per the request of the previous owner, only the current owner has permission to operate these machines.

SOKKA  
(pouting)  
Aw, are you serious? Man, these just looked so cool.

ZUKO  
I think that this is a wonderful surprise to see throughout our tour of this home.

SUKI  
Just wait until I show you the best part.

_CUT to Suki leading them outside into the backyard. Zuko shivers. Sokka pulls off his jacket and tucks it around his shoulders. Suki walks around until she spies whatever she’s looking for._

SUKI  
(points to a trail leading away from the property)  
Look! It’s your very own personal backyard trail!

SOKKA  
Do you know where it leads to?

SUKI  
Nope, but if I have to guess, I think it goes somewhere up the hill and maybe into the mountains?

SOKKA  
This is like the perfect backdrop to a treasure quest!

ZUKO  
Or an invitation for someone to come in unannounced.

SOKKA  
I think you’ve been watching too much _Snapped_.

_Awkward silence. Cameraman pans around in circles. No one knows the etiquette surrounding the act of referencing a different show from a different television network._

SUKI  
(drinks water, clears throat)  
The trail is perfect for people with a spirit for adventure.

ZUKO  
I could see us going on hikes or picnics here.

SOKKA  
(recovering from his blunder)  
And I think Hawky and Druk would love to roam around here, too.

ZUKO  
Perhaps we could even consider owning some chickens or starting a small vegetable garden back here as well.

SUKI  
It sounds like you two really like this house.

ZUKO  
Aside from how cold it seemed, I think that this house has a lot of potential.

SOKKA  
Yeah, at first I wasn’t really sold on the inside of the house, but I think that the stuff outside more than makes up for my worries. Plus, I love the arcade.

SUKI  
That’s really good to hear, actually.

SOKKA  
I think it’s a perfect house for the long-term.

ZUKO  
Oh, long-term? How long term were you thinking?

(WHY IS IT SO AWKWARD? WHERE IS THE MUSIC?)

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **THIS IS JUICIER THAN THE JUICIEST PIECE OF STEAK.**_

SOKKA  
I meant long-term like forever? Or something like that?

ZUKO  
Oh, but of course! This house is a perfect investment, especially if you’re considering a future involving marriage or children.

(WHY IS THERE SO MUCH AWKWARD SILENCE?)

SOKKA  
Oh, uh. I wasn’t really thinking about that. Or the marriage thing.

ZUKO  
(looks crestfallen)  
I see.

 _You can literally CUT the tension with a dull butter knife at this point. Sokka is jamming his hands in his pockets. Zuko has gone completely pale. Suki looks like she’s deciding between fighting or fleeing_.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **GG, SOKKA.**_

SUKI  
(claps her hands in an attempt to dispel the spirits)  
Right! I still have one more house lined up for you two to check out later.

ZUKO  
(blinking)  
Yes, I think it’s a good idea to keep our options open.

SOKKA  
(still looks confused)  
Yeah, and I’m excited to see what place you have in store for us later.

_Awkward CUT to commercial with requisite advertisements about the latest car models, local grocery stores, and life insurance._

_Awkward CUT back to_ House Hunters _. Sokka and Zuko are driving in the car again. They’re finally driving to the last house._

SOKKA  
So I guess this is the last house we’re checking out?

ZUKO  
I guess so.

SOKKA  
You feeling okay?

ZUKO  
Yes. I’m just a bit tired from yesterday’s house hunting.

SOKKA  
Honestly, same. looking at all of these houses is tiring.

ZUKO  
I wonder what Suki has planned for this house.

SOKKA  
Me too.

_CUT to Sokka and Zuko pulling up in front of yet another wonderful looking house, although this one is definitely giving off a modern, chic vibe with its sharp edges and strong rooftop accents._

NARRATOR  
(sounds slightly defeated voiceover)  
It seems like Suki has one last trick up her sleeve for this darling duo.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **140 ACRES**_

_Another small blurb appears onscreen: **7348 SQ. FT.**_

_And another small blurb appears onscreen: **$1,540,000**_

_And yet another small blurb appears onscreen: **4 BED / 4.5 BATH**_

NARRATOR  
(bemused voiceover)  
Our editing team seems to be in a bit of a hurry.

_CUT to Suki sitting on the staircase when Sokka and Zuko walk in. She looks a little tired, but manages to smile at both of them when they come in._

SOKKA  
Suki, are you doing okay?

ZUKO  
(kneels down next to Suki)  
What’s wrong?

SUKI  
What’s wrong? Are you serious asking me that right now?

SOKKA  
What do you mean?

SUKI  
I can’t believe how stupid you two are.

(CUE MUSIC? WHERE IS THE MUSIC? WHY IS IT SILENT?)

_Suki stands up in a flash and whirls around, glaring at Sokka and Zuko._

SUKI  
Look, you two better get your act together before I positively _scream_.

SOKKA  
Huh?

SUKI  
Don’t act dumb, Sokka. Just tell him you like him.

SOKKA  
Wha—?

SUKI  
(is actually screeching now)  
JUST TELL ZUKO THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM AND THAT WHEN YOU SAID LONG-TERM, YOU MEANT LONG-TERM. WITH HIM.

 _Camera swings wildly as Cameraman tries to take in all the requisite reaction shots. Zuko looks like the color of a bright tomato. Sokka is basically melting into the ground and trying to escape. Suki has a tight grip on both of them. She looks positively murderous_.

SUKI  
(in as encouraging of a tone as she can muster)  
Go on.

SOKKA  
(mumbles)  
Uh, yeah. Ikindareallydefinitelylikeyou.

ZUKO  
(looks like he will actually pass out)  
What?

SOKKA  
(stammering)  
Ack—what I mean is, I honestly really like you, and this whole flying out thing was just an excuse for me to find the perfect house for both of us to live in together forever.

 _It has not been scientifically proven if a person could die from blushing, but it looks like Zuko is teetering on the verge of proving the hypothesis to be true_.

ZUKO  
(murmurs quietly)  
And I’ve been in love with you for the past six years of my life.

 _CUT to Literal Hell breaking loose. Suki is honest-to-La losing her mind in the corner of the living room. Cameraman trips and falls. The camera is now sideways on the ground, but you can still see a bit of the scene unfolding through the lens. Sokka reaches down and pulls Zuko into a kiss that seems to last for a millennia_.

NARRATOR  
(confused, worried, elated? voiceover)  
It seems that Sokka and Zuko are choosing House #3—

SOKKA  
(pulls away from the kiss, still holding Zuko in a bone-crushing hug)  
No! We’re definitely going with House #2! I need my arcade!

ZUKO  
(blushing madly, his arms wrapped around Sokka’s shoulders)  
And I need my vegetable farm! And my modern minimalism!

 _CUT to Sokka and Zuko hugging and grinning madly at each other. Suki has finally recovered and is able to get up and slap both of them on the back of their heads_.

_A small blurb appears onscreen: **FINALLY.**_

FADE OUT.

**Author's Note:**

> that's it, i'm the narrator


End file.
